


Scout's Honor

by bete_noir



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Epic Friendship, Heavy Drinking, Internal Conflict, Internal Monologue, M/M, No Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-29
Updated: 2014-07-29
Packaged: 2018-02-11 00:08:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2045439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bete_noir/pseuds/bete_noir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cecil is self destructing  while Carlos is away, Earl Harlan is conflicted but is an honorable man.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scout's Honor

“All is well listeners. We have survived yet another day and hopefully we will survive another night in spite of the infinite number of events and outcomes that may occur until I speak to you again….. “ Cecil ended his nightly broadcast with the familiar, “Goodnight Night Vale, goodnight.” and left his booth to whomever or whatever Night Vale’s listeners would be experiencing next.

 

He tidied up his desk then washed his coffee cup and placed in the kitchenette’s drying rack next to so many unused mugs left behind by so many missing interns.

“missing”

“gone”

He spoke the words aloud to the no-one in the building. The acoustics were such that the words seemed amplified. The empty building also amplified his feeling of loneliness.

He wiped his hands dry on a dish rag and headed to the men’s room to check on Khoshekh. Khoshekh greeted him with a meow and curled slightly in Cecil’s touch as he stroked and coo'd to  the kitty, “I’ve got you Khoshekh, you and me. …… you and me, baby. “ The cat purred loudly rubbed his face against Cecil’s hand in that way that all cats do when they are claiming you as their property.

“But you’re stuck at a fixed point in space, aren’t you?“, to which the cat swatted at Cecil with a gnarled claw. Cecil dodged Khoshekh easily. “Yep, right where you belong, kiddo. “

“We are all right where we belong.” spoken in a near whisper. The words hit him with an incredible weight. He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes against the malignant lonliness eating at him. Somehow he slid down into the floor, his mind raced... _someone is not right where he belongs. Carlos is not where he belongs. Carlos is lost. I am not where I belong, I'm lost without Carlos. How can the entire universe be so wrong?_

Cecil sat on the floor in the men’s room and spoke to his cat… “I’m just lonely. First I had Carlos at home, then I had you AND Carlos and now, buddy, now I go home alone at night and no one is there. It’s so much like losing my family all over again. I mean, I don’t really remember more than them being gone….. but now Carlos is gone. What if everyone one I ever love is going to be taken from me? ….. At least there’s the phone……… and I can wait for the phone to ring. In fact, " he pauses and signs, "my home life is nothing more than waiting for the phone to ring. Sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn’t and, I don’t sleep much anymore, because I might miss HIM……… I’m trying not to let Carlos’ absence get to me, but I just want someone to sit with. I need him back. I talk at people all day but it’s not sharing, it’s just me dispensing information. I miss sharing and closeness….. and oh, I am NOT going to cry again.” He stood up, regained his composure both physically and mentally. 

“ A scientist may be self reliant, but a radio professional….is…… professional. Yes, professional…. and I am……. I am just a guy that doesn’t want to go sit in a very empty apartment again. “

One more pat on Khoshekh's head and he left the men's room and left work.  

 

                                                                                                *********

 

Cecil drove past his apartment, past the Desert Flower Bowling Ally and Arcade Fun Complex, past Radon Canyon, through the sand wastes until he was just outside of the city limits.  Good thing he remembered those chants, he wished Carlos had bothered to remember them…. they sure made getting in and out of the city so much easier. His destination was a dive bar that appeared like it might be a good place to get lost for as long he needed to. No one would talk to him, no one would ask him how he’s  been holding up, no one would pity his loss/ not loss of Carlos. He'd have a little anonymity for a change and he needed to be just as lost to Night Vale as Carlos was, if just for a few hours. He parked his light blue Volvo in the gravel lot and went in. 

The place was dimly lit at best, smoke filled which was great and smelled like stale beer and sadness. This was indeed the place he had been looking for. If he was honest with himself, his real mission was to get black out drunk and forget about the phone. He managed an empty table in the back and ordered a martini from the less than pleased to have another damn customer bar-back just doing time at a shit job they hated. He had a good enough view of the people *people-ing* and wasn't sure if that made his disconnect more more profound, but a few cocktails would change all that. _Looking to get back into old habits, hmmmmm? no, no, I'm just going to watch, maybe talk.... I'm not going to do anything stupid._    

Cecil simply needed to step out of his life for a few precious hours and breathe without fear, loneliness or the burdens of worry and responsibility he'd been carrying for so long. Weakness wasn't a luxury he’d allowed himself since the whole debacle with Strex began.

The world's saddest martini arrived at his table and he stared absently into it. He sipped at it and frowned, it was truthfully the world's saddest martini, and he  wondered how gin and vermouth could be that difficult to mix.  A shrug as he  steeled himself for a second sip. _Oh sweet baby Glow Cloud this is bad!_ The only rational idea was to down it. Once the glass was drained he felt the warmth of the alcohol burn his throat and his face flush.

_A couple more like this will do the job_. He signaled the bar-back for another. Cecil drank the second saddest martini ever as quickly as he did the first and was beginning to feel the stress dissipate.  He ordered another and the waiter seemed to catch on to the game and had no problem with it.

The third martini arrived and Cecil smiled warmly at the waiter, "you're m favorite server, I should just bring you home and have you serve me all night long... " The waiter smiled back and looked over at the table currently needing his service.

Cecil raised the glass in a mock toast, “fuck it ... just FUCK. IT.”

Before he could bring the glass to his lips a familiar hand swooped in and took the martini from his hand.

Cecil loked up and stared, his mouth agape…not quite believing his own eyes.

A familar voice scolded him, “You’ve had enough Palmer. “

Cecil retrieved his glass, “ I’m not even getting started….”

“Ok, so is this pity party for one, or are you going to invite me to join you? “

“Fuck, I’m sorry Earl, I’m just fucking sorry…please sit. “

Earl settled into an empty chair across the table from Cecil, and suddenly the world seemed a little less oppressive, a little less angry and maybe just a little bit friendlier. “I’ve missed you, you know, you should’ve let me know when you… how you… I mean… Earl, how did you get back? “

Earl smiled and shrugged….. “No idea… I just woke up last week in my own bed like nothing ever happened. I got up and went to work…. but I’m a chef now, which is weird. I don’t know Cecil, I just don’t know. I don’t have a culinary back ground, but the world works in mysterious ways. I’m back, that’s all …. I’m back where I belong.”

“Where you belong Earl, of course…” Cecil frowned and sipped at the martini…… _at least I'm buzzed, at least I'm disappearing into a bottle, at least someone is where they belong, at least you're easy Early..._  

Earl ordered another beer and  asked Cecil about everything he’d missed over horrible music playing from a dying juke box.  He eventually asked about Carlos, much to Cecil’s dismay. _I don't want to think about Carlos, I want to have another drink and think about you.... I bet you want to think about me too, naked, close to you, biting into your shoulder.... come on Early..._

Earl having realized his error says,  “Hey, if my dumb ass could get back, you know Mr Scientist will make it. “

“Thanks Earl, that means a lot. “

“You know for a while I was was jealous of you, how everything just sort of worked out for you. “

“hah, that’s hilarious” but Cecil genuinely smiled.

“Ceec, I realized I was my own problem and should go on about living my life, just like you are… We had our time together and it was awesome, but sitting back and looking at things objectively, we’ve always just been better at being friends than boyfriends”

“Way to make it weird, Harlan. “ Cecil grinned and his heart melted a bit, he had missed his best friend. He’d missed him long before the mute children led him away from the Court of Honor…. he’d missed having a best friend for a decade or more…… since they’d begun growing up and apart and setting about their respective career paths.

“It needed to be said,” conceded Earl…..”I know I made it weird the last time I saw you...... but in my defence … for as much talking as you do on the radio you’re shit for keeping in contact, especially when you have a boyfriend.“

“Ok, Earl, I suck.” Cecil managed a drunk and dramatic eye roll, “ Now what? another drink? “

Earl shakes his head, “How about a change of venue? “

Cecil lowered his voice a bit, tilted his face down, so he cold look up to Earl through his eyelashes, “I like it here, Early, it’s dark, it’s depressing, it's filthy, it’s got this rubbing alcohol-y/ paint thinner-y /gives no fucks-y concoction and I’m anonymous. I can be a sad little drunk here. I don't have to be alone here. I'm always alone in Night Vale."

Earl pretends to be oblivious to Cecil's come on, “Yeah Ceec, I know, but you’re drunk. “

“Early, i’m tipsy”

“Ceec, I’ve heard you swear exactly six times since we’ve met. and they’ll all been within the past 10 minutes.“

“Nope. Staying here, drinking until the sun rises, if it even does that anymore. “

“Palmer, don’t make me haul your ass out of here “damsel-in-distress” style, we’re too old for that. Get your drunk ass up and to my truck NOW.“

"oooh, I love it when you're so dominant... " but in truth, was something in the way Earl fixed his gaze on Cecil assured him that getting up and getting to the truck was very important and that walking out of the bar was a better idea than being carried out.

“Well, Mr Harlan, when you put it like that, how can I refuse? “ Cecil, although compliant was huffy.

 Earl settled up the bar tab and watched the waiter scowl as he slid an arm around Cecil's waist to steady him as they walked / staggered (respectively) to Earl’s Jeep Cherokee.  Cecil was drunk enough to need to be lifted into the vehicle.  The Scout Master turned Chef  fastened his friend's seat belt, thanked the Glow Cloud that there was a shoulder strap or Cecil would have flopped into the dashboard and then climbed into the drivers side to head back to Night Vale.

“Ceec, how about we get some food into you? “  

“Nope. ‘nother venue, you said, I am not drunk enough yet. “  _nor have I found someone that wants to spend the night with me_

“Food. “ Earl insisted.

“nope”

“food!”

“nope”

“Cecil, you’re going to eat and have some coffee, am I clear? “

“How about FUCK YOU” Cecil spat at his so called friend. _you know I don't like being alone, Early, you know what I need, give it to me_

Earl realizing that his insistence was getting him no where changed tacks, “Well I can get you an exclusive dining experience at Tourniquet, if you’ll quit being a complete brat. “

Cecil perked up at that,  "It's impossible to get in there, I've tried. Unless it's really a damned Applebees in disguise."

"Puh-lease Cecil. Applebees.... ugh"

"Well, I wouldn’t want to impose.…“

“I have the key, Cecil. How about we go over there and have a little something to eat. “ Earl coaxesd.

“Really? “

“Yes, really”

“WINE? “

“You’re a pain in the ass, Ceec. I said **eat** “.

Earl parked his Cherokee in front of Tourniquet and wandered around to the passenger side to help Cecil out of the truck. Before he got there Cecil had excitedly opened the door and fell on to the street rather gracelessly and began giggling.

Earl scooped up the smaller man and snarked,  “Falling down drunk, it’s official, good job Cecil! “  

“Mission accomplished” Cecil slurred in reply. _well, halfway accomplished, I just need you wrapped around me for the rest of the night Early, you think I can accomplish that?_

Earl made a point of supporting his friend into the darkened restaraunt as he made a beeline through the dining room to the kitchen... Cecil leaned toward the furnishings trying to touch the rich texture of the scarlet velvet upholstery on the Victorian looking sofas and chairs."No pumpkin, we're going to cook in the kitchen."

The kitchen was filled with shiny stainless steel appliances and gadgets, so much so that Cecil felt a pang of loss for Carlos' lab.

Earl propped Cecil against a wall and quickly grabbed a chair from the dining area and then guided cecil to the chair. “At last, this chair…… “ Cecil murmered to no one, “ it’s soooo comfy. This is my favorite chair. “

“Good, that means you’ll stay put and stop being a nuisance? “

“I’ll be good, I promise." Cecil winked an over the top wink and blew Earl a kiss.

It's then that Earl realizes he is quite possibly in over his head. Cecil is flirting. He always flirts when he’s drunk. Cecil is dangerously close to the “I love you, man” / “hugging” stage of his drunk. Earl has been gone a long time and is just as alone as Cecil is…. and Earl has always had a soft spot for Cecil.

“Yeah, yeah, sure you will Ceec… “ Earl left Cecil sitting to wander the kitchen to find something impressive yet simple to cook. As he collected his simple ingredients and gear he managed over thinking a friendly dinner into friendly dinner gone wrong. He knew damn well where this could lead when he stumbled upon a very drunk Cecil Palmer. He considered giving Cecil exactly what he wanted... only he knew that he really wasn't what Cecil wanted. Cecil was just drunk and lonely and empty sex had been his default coping mechanism for too many years. Earl wasn't sure he could say “no” if propositioned, but drunk is drunk…  drunk was not consent and fuck this night was not supposed to end up as a test of his morals.

He no sooner finished the thought than Cecil draped himself across Earl’s back, propped his head on Earl’s shoulder. “I want to watch, ‘k? “, Cecil slurred into Earl’s ear, his lips so close and his breath so warm and the weight of his body felt like heaven itself to Earl. **_Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, I am not over you_** began the internal monologue in Earl’s brain. “Cecil, it’s fine, but watch from the chair, ok? “

“fine.. “, Cecil huffed and sat in what used to be his favorite chair ever, “what are you making? “ 

“We’re starting with elderflower mojito puffs… “ replied Earl as presented Cecil with a tray of pale green fluffy balls with flowers airbrushed on the side of them.

“ooooh pretty, “ and Cecil’s eyes went wide with confusion, “those are , ummm…… alcohol, right? “

Earl chuckled , “yes”….. **_the sooner you pass out the sooner you’ll stop flirting and eh gawd fuck, fuck, fuck_** , “ and these are potato chips with gruyere, vanilla oil and coffee “ he said as he put a plate with what appeared to be the most lovingly topped potato chip in the world before Cecil.

Once again Earl finds Cecil draped across his back….. “Fancy!…… my mojito thingy is gone, I'm empty.. " whispered a little too lustily in his ear

“Cecil, would you like to eat in the dining room? or SIT and watch me cook? “ and the weight evaporated again.  

“Fine, I’ll sit, Early, but I know what you’re doing.” _and I'll get my way earl, you're going to take me home and you're going to make me forget all about Carlos.... oh, Carlos, my poor sweet Carlos_

Earl turned to look a very drunk Cecil Palmer in the eye…. **_how do you know what I’m doing Cecil? I don’t even know what I’m doing! I’m walking some very thin line between good friend and fucked up friend zoned predator. It’s VERY confusing. I’m trying really hard not to kiss you Cecil, that is what I’m doing._** “We’re cooking and eating. You can help me... or if you don’t like it we can make something more traditional.”

“oh”…. Cecil frowned.

“Do you like any of it? “ Earl asked?

“Yes, yes I do, very much.....  Do you like it? Cooking, I mean. “  _don't you like me anymore?_

“It’s relaxing. It’s different. I like it. “ **_I like you too…. more than I should_**. “Scallops next, ok, if you stay awake? “ **_How haven't you passed out yet?_**

“I’m wide awake Early. “ Cecil beamed and focused on his ex cooking, not saying a word, just watching, enjoying being around someone … the intimacy of sharing day to day living if just for one dinner felt nice. fifteen minutes passed in the silence of Earl cooking and Cecil watching. Earl  then served Cecil  a plate of Scallops with cabbage, dill and buttermilk.

“You’re really good at this, you know…” Cecil made noised bordering on obscene when tasting the entre. His eyes glazed over a bit and he smiled at Earl. “I’m glad you’re back.”  _I bet you taste amazing too_

Earl returned the smile, “Ok, eat up, and maybe we’ll do it again some time. “

“Quit pandering to me, Earl, it’s unbecoming……”

“I’m not Ceec, I’m just happy to hang out with you again. “ He cleaned  the mess after the meal and forced a cup of espresso on Cecil. It wouldn’t do much for sobering him up but maybe it would make him feel cared for.

“Ok, Palmer it’s time for you to sleep. “ and he escorted Cecil back to his Jeep for the drive back to Cecil’s (and Carlos’) apartment. They drove in silence. Cecil watched Earl.

 

                                                                 ********************************************************

Earl parked and walked his still drunk friend up the stairs to the door. He gently and lovingly kissed Cecil’s forehead before he turned to leave. Cecil half whimpered, half sighed and melted against Earl. “Was that wrong Ceec? I didn’t mean anything. Just a kiss goodnight…. promise. “

“Early, stay. Just sit with me, watch a movie with me…. let me be close to you. I just want to not be alone. Is that too much? I know I’m a handful, and I’m reckless and that I’ve hurt you….. but I need you“ Cecil looked nervous and embarrassed and needy and so damned lovable as he felt his way through the words he spoke.

**_oh gods , you’re killing me._** “Sure Ceec, I’m here,” He guided Cecil into the apartment and steered him to the closest chair. “I’m going to turn on Cat Ballou and we can sit and watch together or we can talk ..... or even make a pillow fort like when we were kids. “

Cecil squealed and jumped into Earl's arms, “A pillow fort! you are so BRILLIANT! YES, lets do this.... an extravagant pillow fort, filled with the best blankets and oooooh!" He breathed into Earl's ear, "I have a nice pinot noir, you always liked that Early… “

Earl shakes his head…… **_D_** ** _Definitely in over my head, but no one's ever died of sexual frustration.... I think._**  “Ok, get the pinot…. I’ll construct something."

Cecil staggered to the kitchen as Earl worked on the pillow fort. Cecil had about a bazillion pillows and blankets, the work went quickly and easily. He was just placing the last pillow when Cecil returned with an open bottle and no glasses. He answered Earls questioning gaze “Well, if we’re roughing you know, I thought we’d just drink from the bottle. “

They settled into the “fort”, which was technically more of a nest and curled under separate blankets and passed the bottle between them, silently, but comfortably watching the movie until Earl started to doze off….

He may never be sure, but he thought he felt  a soft kiss on his forehead and heard a whisper, “I don’t deserve you, Early, I never did”. He did however know the fact and feeling of Cecil resting his pretty drunk head on Earl's lap as he finally layed down to sleep.

Earl moved his hand to brush his fingers through Cecil's silky hair and reveled in the contented noises he heard in return. **_This isn't healthy, but I don't care so much about my own sanity right now._** Earl smiled to himself then snuggled into the nest beside Cecil.  

 

 

                                                                ***************************************************

The sunrise was particularly loud the next morning or Cecil’s hangover was particularly nasty, he wasn’t sure which. He groaned and rubbed the sleep out of his bleary eyes sleep out of bleary eyes and gasped when he noticed the familiar shape of Earl Harlan curled up beside him. “Shit! “ 

Cecil's expletive startled Earl to consciousness. Cecil sat paralyzed in shame and fear wringing his hands with worry. “What's the matter Ceec? “

“Early… did we.. ummm… you know..” as he looked at the pillow nest and tons of blankets tight lipped, fearful he might have crossed a line.  

Earl saw an opportunity and smiled, Cecil was blackout and now was the time to teach him a lesson, “Yes. Cecil we did and it was **amazing**! “ 

Cecil frowned and his breathing sped up. _oh gods no, please, no, i didn't mean it, I didn't mean it I love Carlos!_

“You asked me to stay, said you needed this. Ceec. What was I supposed to do? Leave you hanging? “ 

“Oh gods, Earl! Oh gods, I’ve ruined everything! “ and Cecil burst into tears. 

_**dammit, it’s not supposed to make him cry..** _ “It was just like old times.“ 

Cecil wailed and sobbed into the pillow he was hugging. “Ceec, shut up. Old times, like 8th grade. You know, a sleep over, like **friends** have. Remember we’d swipe a bottle from my dad’s liquor cabinet and hide under blankets and watch shitty movies? “ 

“oh… ?” Cecil was sniffling. 

“Yeah, jeez, Palmer, why’s it alway sex with you? “ Earl laughed. 

“Oh!” Cecil finally understood. 

“Cecil Palmer, do you honestly think I’d try to ruin something so important to you as your relationship with Dr Sexypants? More over, do you think I’d take advantage of someone that was that pfucking drunk?"

Cecil felt bad about his misconception,  "Earl, I don’t... I don’t know…. It’s not you, it’s me. I’ve been tempted, and I was last night.. and you know my track record with fidelity.. first hand."  Cecil hugged his pillow and looked down, still working on slowing his breathing. 

“and you know my track record with fidelity first hand. I’m not going to be the one to ….. fucking really? “ Earl shook his head and climbed out of the nest out to find his shoes,  “way to paint as some fucking asshole, Palmer. I just tried to keep your from self destructing and this is what I get? Thanks a million. “

“No Earl… no, that's not what I mean. “ Cecil looks down at is hands in his lap, “ I know me. I know how I fucked things up between us, I know I hurt you… I … I don’t want to fight, I’m sorry, I just don’t know what I’m doing any more. “ He looked at Earl, lost, so fucking lost. 

“ I'll be honest with you, I still have feelings and part of me thought about how easy it would be, but you were dead drunk, babe. You were shit faced. That’s not what I want. Maybe one day you’ll want me.... Sober. Then it might be different, but I have more dignity than that."

“I’m sorry… Earl, I’m....  I didn’t mean… you’d never do that… I know. I’m the .. the “ Earl can't stand seeing Cecil fall apart..He knelt down and took Cecil’s hands in his own. He lowered his voice to  a whisper, “You’re the one hurting, you’re the one working his way through a really messed up situation and you’re confused and sad and angry…. and I want to be there for you as a friend, Ceec. If that means drunken pillow forts, it's ok by me, because I’ll make sure you don’t do anything foolish. I’m not a creep, I’m not an asshole. I’m your friend first and foremost….and that’s what I think you need right now and that’s all I know I need right now.“ 

Cecil nods in awe of his friend's generosity in spite of their messy past. He  hugs Earl close, “ I don’t deserve you, Early. “ 

Earl hugs Cecil in return, “ Shut up Palmer. Call me next time you're hell bent on self destruction. We’ll get through this... until he is back where he belongs, ok? “ 

Cecil continued to hold on to Earl for dear life, “How? … why.. don’t you hate me, Earl? I was a complete jerk to you ? “ 

“Ceec… I like seeing you happy. Let’s leave it at that. “ 

Earl walked out of the apartment, down the stairs and climbed into his Jeep. He drove a few blocks before he had to pull over. He parked on the street next to Mission Grove park. He used his old scouting kerchief to wipe away the tears that came in waves....  ** _I love you so much, Cecil._**

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write smut... but Cecil and Carlos are my OTP and as much as I love Earl...... I like Earl doing the right thing even if it it's a difficult choice.... 
> 
> This wasn't beta'd and I worked at it for a while and re read it like a bazillion damn times, so there will be spelling and grammar errors a-plenty, please point them out and I'll fix them or give you a merit badge. 
> 
> Also a faint reference to a song..... maybe you'll find it....


End file.
